Uh oh!

Yesterday I came home from work feeling a bit bleurgh and headachey.
This morning I wake up with a full on cold.

Not exactly the start to Christmas I wanted, so as you can imagine I feel rather sorry for myself right now, all head pounding and bunged up.
Not even the dog wants to come near me!!!

Yesterday was quite a hectic day in work, with people buying their last minute presents for relatives and/or bargain hunting in our sale which is gradually happening (and being impossible to implement due to customers being EVERYWHERE and just generally messing up the shop).
Luckily I don't have to be there today, but will be in all day tomorrow & Saturday morning.
Oh and boxing day - sadface!

I did have a plan for what to write today, but being all ill and rubbish I have actually completely forgotten.
Probably something to do with the stupidly cheap sonic games being sold on the app store, must be rotting my brain.

Anyway, does anyone have any thoughts on hooded scarves? I have fallen in love with them but not quite sure how is the best way to wear them (do you go for a coat, or just a nice bit of knitwear to wear with one?) and also if they are a fashion yay or nay?

Asos, £7

Asos,  £16.50

Asos, £22.50

Boohoo.com, £12. Isn't that just ridiculously amazing??? It does come in different colours, but this was the best!

New Look, £19.99. It is so snuggly.

Not a hooded scarf, but I saw this in my browsing on boohoo.com & am smitten. £12 and also available in grey & white.

Feeling a lot of love for Boohoo.com at the moment, especially after seeing some of their clothes at the mystreetchic.com party!

Xmas knitwear.

Last year I bought a lovely grey fairisle jumper dress, but this year I have been lacking and haven't found that special Christmas day snuggly yet.

Kind of leaving it VERY late so not sure if I will end up with one this year, suppose I could just dress up nicely as Bertie boo the destructor will be staying in Bristol for the day as its a lot of upheaval and excitement for just one day.

However, I do have a few snuggly things I am tempted by!

Isla Reindeer Fairisle Cardigan, £25 from Boohoo.com

Pretty fairisle that doesn't have a nice swish sounding name (think I would have preferred it in green), £24.99 from H&M.

The most amazing jumper EVER! £28 from Dorothy Perkins.

This one has caught my eye for a while, something to do with the pricetag I think! £290, Marc by Marc Jacobs, sold at the rather lovely Garment Quarter!

I did have a few more to post, but a certain hungry puppy has told me that I am late providing his dinner!

More dressing up & making an effort!

So after the crazy antics of friday night, last night was my work xmas party.

Dressing up two nights in a row? Actually unheard of in my book!

Sadly I didn't have the sense (or the battery) to take any photos of what I wore last night, which is a massive shame as I was very dolled up for me.

One of the girls I work with is amazing with hair while another is a qualified beautician, so they had a lot of fun doing me up properly.

So as we were going out for a proper meal this year, I decided to dress a bit more sedate than our drinking filled antics from last year.

So last night I wore:

Dress: £22.99 (I also own it in navy, but I knew someone else was wearing the navy, and it gave me chance to wear green shoes!)

Shoes: £12.99 (also come in black & nude)

Teamed with the same clutch and jacket from my outfit on friday night & my pandora bracelet.

Sorry guys but no prizes for where the outfit was all bought from!

Needing to get my act together!

Well last night I was lucky enough to be taken along to the mystreetchic.com xmas bloggers party In Bristol with my bestie Char. Char has been doing a lot of photo shoots for the website (which is how she got in!) and she got me in with her!

I met lots of fantastic people there, Char caught up with a lot of the girls she had done shoots with and we got rather drunk on Cosmos!

There was a catwalk show with items from Boohoo.com (some REALLY amazing dresses on there!) & obligatory goodie bag.

When I get chance I will be taking photos of the contents of the bag, but with a hyperactive pug on the loose, probably not wise right now, but it was just such an amazing night!

I did however find it kind of embarrassing when people kept coming up to me asking if I was a blogger & telling them no!

Which is why I need to get my game on. :)

One of the things inside the goodie bag was a mini boohoo magazine which I shall now be worshipping as they had a very very special item of clothing which jumped out at me.

]\''''''''''''''''''p[;] - Just to prove my point, that was Bertie's input irn todays post, he does seem to be rather obsessed with running over keyboards!./;l, 1q§nby7 everytime he does this I would delete, but he is being too cute today so it gets to stay in!

Anyway, that special little something was a navy christmas onesie which typically has now disappeared from the website, but it was called Rach.

Could that have been any more perfect?! I promise to get a photo of it from my magazine later.

Lastly, what I wore last night:

Waterfall blazer: £24.99 from New Look.

Dress: £3 reduced from £40 last year! From New Look limited edition range.

Clutch: £12.99 from New Look (starting to see a pattern emerging eh?)

Bracelet: £ too expensive to think about from Pandora.

Heels: £19.99 last year from New Look.

Photo was taken by one of the lovely ladies from the event last night, not entirely sure but was taken from the mystreetchic.com. So I think it may have been by @ChloeLeePhoto!

Bertie Boo & a bit of a shock to the system!

As we all know by now (anyone out there that still even bothers checking to see if I write anything) I am just hopeless with blogs. Utterly useless with the updating.

I only actually logged on to check to see if I had a photo of a dress I had bought sometime last year as I needed to show it to a friend and it turns out flicking back through my posts is a VERY depressing thing to do. Always knew I was a bit miserable but bloody hell I didn't quite realise I was that bad until now!

Anyway, last month I finally fulfilled a long time desire and bought myself a pug!

A couple of months ago I met a handsome pug outside my store and it just completely rekindled my need for one. He was actually the first pug I had ever met in real life, but he was so perfect!

So now I have my own little monkey called Bertie, or Bertie Boo as his pedigree name.

I didn't think I could actually love anything as much as I love my little Boo, completely infatuated with him. Everyone else who has met him seems to have also fallen in love with his cute little face too!

Work life is doing fine, this close to Christmas and I am not even stressed! Shows how brilliant my manager is, unlike the woman who was running my store last year!!!

Looking forward to Christmas, even though I will literally be home with my family for 1 day as both myself & Rob are working Christmas eve and boxing day!

At least we have new years off together to spend in Wales with Boo! x

Uhh.. Well I suppose it has been a while!

Somehow I managed to forget that I even owned a blog, only being reminded today when I had a lovely little earthquake caused by my blackberry to tell me that someone lovely had sent me a comment.

This made me twig that I haven't said anything in several months *hits self with stick*

So here is a round up of what is going on (& recently gone on) in my little world!

Work: Same old, same old. We have our lovely manager back to running the shop which has relieved an awful lot of stress from my life. Our little shop seems to be on a precarious little rope at the moment, but shall have to wait and see how it all plays out.
However, the shop is filled with an awful lot of mustard coloured stuff at the moment.
I look like a freaking idiot in mustard!

Homelifesortofstuff: Absolutely gagging for a holiday, we were hoping to have gone somewhere nice and sunny in July, but it just didn't take off the ground, so the next patch of holiday time to plan something starts in..... 4 days. Somehow I can't see us jetting off anywhere then either!
We did get offered the chance to holiday in Sydney as we have a friend who has rented a house out there for 3 weeks right next to the beach, but we have a week off. £1000 for a flight for a week? I am so not feeling that. If it had been two weeks then fair enough!

My brother in law is currently on a flight back to Colorado as we speak, the poor sod has been living over here for 2 years, jobless and bored to death, so I suppose it was only fair for him to go home and actually have a life.
My sister now has to wait for months for her Visa to clear before she can go out and live there too.

*fingers crossed she is out there by february*
For my own selfish reasons of course, as Colorado is pretty damn close to Vegas... we also have 2 weeks off in February, so the flying out there will be worthwhile!
But it is very strange knowing that I won't be getting any random texts at 5am anymore...

In other news, it is my birthday on Saturday. Grand old age of 22!

Obviously there has been more crap going on in my little bubble, but the above is enough to bore anyone to sleep for now!

A little bit of....

positive thinking!

As soon as I started writing, I remembered that I had forgotten to pick up a euromillions ticket for tonight (major fail).

That little bit of negativity aside.....!

Yesterday I had to make a trek up near Stoke on Trent for some work related training, apart from the ridiculously early morning it was a very good experience for me.
Meeting some local managers, learning new things, sharing some concerns, getting some good old fashioned guidance from those who know what they are on about.

I may have mentioned some things that may not have been so wise to mention after all, but I feel it is stuff that needed to get off my chest, I carry too much worry around with me and too much panic.

Currently, my only concerns are that what I may have mentioned yesterday will not have stayed in the group (hopefully not, if not will end up being more than just a concern!) and another issue which is ongoing anyway and nothing can be done about.

For me this is a step in the right direction, will just try rather hard not to take 2 steps backwards!

Hoping that yesterday will end up being a turning point for the better in regards to work and just help in the ongoing battle to keep my spirits high!

Being slightly naughty now and putting off the weekly jaunt to the gym!

Do you ever wish....

that you could delete people in real life?
That is what I am currently wanting to do with one or two people I know.
One of these people I have the misfortune of seeing on an almost daily basis, and there is nothing more I want in life right now than for her to disappear forever.
I was debating the whole deleting of number, deleting of facebook but unfortunately that wouldn't even be enough.

After the tirade of grief via text this morning, I really am sick to death of her.
I may just quit my job and never leave the house again, may be easier.

For someone to make me so permanently miserable is actually quite impressive. However I just deleted her bitchy little message this morning and thought that would be enough to stop my good mood I woke up with from disappearing....

But instead today has to be ruined.

BITCH!

Clothes clothes and more clothes.

In the last week or so I have managed to spend well over £100 on clothes, more likely closer to the £200 mark but I can't give an accurate number right now.

I seem to have developed a shopping problem!
Until now I have been rather sensible and just squirreled money away into various savings accounts, but all of a sudden I just decided I can't be bothered. If I want something, I am just going to buy it and not worry. I won't be able to do it for long as hopefully sometime soon we will be looking to move into a place of our own, but until then, why not enjoy myself?

Not going to go into everything I have purchased as I would be here all night, but memorable mentions go to:

A beautiful pair of wide leg trousers, black with a cream and coral small flower print, very 70's (I think, not really with all this retro stuff!)
2 new maxi dresses, typically as with the trousers I am unable to find photos online, so if I can ever be bothered I will take photos myself.
& other various goodies I am waiting the arrival of!

Other recent news included me deciding was bored of my extremely boring shade of brown and going red instead (a week and a half on I am still dying everything pink when I wash my hair) and the usual drama at work.

I am in dire need of a holiday and a visit to the gym right now to run my rage off!

Gym.

Well after my lovely little depressing outburst last month, I finally decided to get off my ass and do something new and productive.

So boyfriend and I joined a gym!

The gym group has recently opened up in Bristol, right next to where I used to work last year, would have been so much more useful to have had it then mind!
But they have gyms throughout the UK and the ethos is cheap, no contract, 24/7 and no frills.
Obviously they market that a lot better than I do, but in essence its clean, good range of equipment and I can turn up wherever, as much as I want for £15.99.

So far we have only managed to go twice, but that is down to work being hectic, not all just laziness!
Hopefully going to go and run off my anxiety tonight or maybe tomorrow dependent on the state of the boyfriends back which was not very good last night....!

In other news, major shake ups in work around the region and it makes me rather uneasy, but there is little that I can do about that, just ride it out and see what happens really.

But at least my Dad is home from Australia now, means I can ring him up and have a good old bitch on demand! x

Enough is enough.

After another very testing day in work (I lost again) I got home and cried.
and cried.
and cried.

I realise that it is about time I accepted that I am not normal and I haven't been for some time.
I seem to be constantly worrying and stressing out about everything, want to sleep as much as possible and given half a chance will spend an entire day in bed napping after an entire nights sleep.
I have no tolerance for people, I seem to get snappy & nasty for no reason.
Headaches most likely from stress
Very forgetful, I actually had to write a list of everything so I didn't forget anything, I will leave work and spend all night panicking because I can't remember if I have locked the shop, activated alarms etc.
Nice little negative thoughts, some days I do feel it would be so much easier if I didn't wake up.
Everything seems like a massive battle and I can't deal with it.
I will scratch at my arms to try and make myself calm down because I am so quick to anger, yet hate conflict so will do anything to try and avoid arguments in work.

Along with all that, I feel everyone is against me, I get nice eye twitching randomly and hate being along, very clingy and very easy to tears.

Basically I am a bit screwed, there will be more random stuff than this, but I won't remember it till later on. Fed up of feeling down and like crap all the time.

I don't know if work seems worse because of all this, or if its work that has exacerbated it, but currently thinking the latter. For the last month or so I have been dying to just walk out of there and not go back, its certain people that make me feel a hundred times worse.

I have never been an overly happy person, but it isn't healthy feeling like this.

I just need some help.

Flamingo love

I saw this on the Daily Mail website a few days ago, and I felt so sorry for the poor thing!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1367595/Its-easy-stand-leg-Clumsy-flamingo-takes-undignified-tumble-wades-pool.html

Not a long article, theres a few pictures.

STAY STRONG MY FLAMINGO FRIEND!

Work work work work work & a week off.

Feeling rather refreshed by my week off spent back in Wales.
Was really strange being in the house without my Dad, as he is currently in Australia (and hopefully stealing me a Koala!) but he is having an amazing time out there.
He is currently spending a month going around visiting pretty much everywhere out there but is sadly spending his 50th out there.
I am sure he is loving the idea of a sunny birthday, but I found it a little disappointing that I couldn't be there to harass him for being old and the like.

I still had a lovely time with the boyfriend & visiting my sister & Brother in law, Grandparents, little Welsh Nanny & the hospital known as my Mum's house (they were all suffering from one bug or another while we were down!)
While I was home, my Grandpa's older brother was taken ill, which meant my time with Grandpa was cut a little shorter than expected, but at least I saw him!

My week off also saw me reunited with two of my most favourite people ever, Hayley who I used to work with back in the day & Cassie who I have known since my drunk rampaging days who also does a beautiful job cutting hair.
While off out in Cardiff with Hayley, we managed to visit the cupcake shop which had some crazy bitch smashing the place up and attacking people over a lack of a certain cupcake a few weeks ago and I managed to buy lime green Dr Martens which were accessorized with purple laces! So ridiculous, but me in a nutshell!

A day after buying my DM's, I discovered my big little sister who is in Comprehensive school had made jewellery to sell for red nose day. One of the pieces she hadn't sold was this bright green & purple chunky bracelet which is a perfect match for my boots!
Needless to say, I had to have it. Will take a photo of both bracelet and boots when I can be bothered!

Work has been the usual, ups and downs for me, staff having issues with me and claiming I am bitchy along with everything else.
Pot calling the kettle black a bit, but I suppose that is the downside of working with all girls I suppose!
After leaving work last friday before going off for the week, I left the shop not wanting to ever step foot in there again, but over the week I realised that if anyone has a problem, then they can deal with it, I really do not care anymore.

If a new position comes up anywhere, then I will probably go for it, but for now I need to just keep my head down and ignore everyone to try and get through it.

Not much else has happened in my little world, if it had then I think my head may have exploded.

Yesterdays drama.

For once I seem to actually have something to complain about.

Yesterday I woke up to a peculiar message on my facebook account effectively claiming my boyfriend of 5 yrs to be chasing after some blokes girlfriend.

First thing in the morning after a terrible nights sleep is NOT the best time to piss me off, especially when I am about to go to work.
As any person with a heartbeat would, I went absolutely mental about the message and confronted a very half asleep Rob, who denied the claim completely.

Work came and went, so I came back home to another message from this psycho trying to convince me that Rob is the biggest sex crazed fiend in the world and that it wasn't just a case of harassing his girlfriend on facebook, he was apparently doing this to several other women.
These other women being solely in his psychotic head.

Anyone who actually knows my boyfriend, knows that he bends over backwards for me, and knows that he is an honest, decent and very loyal guy.

A point to note, is that this bloke hadn't added me or Rob, has never met either of us, and yet felt the need to judge my boyfriend without ever meeting him, and without having a shred of evidence other than his paranoia over Rob commenting on the girlfriends facebook account 3 or 4 times in the last 2 months and the girlfriend even inviting Rob to her birthday event.

Call me crazy, but if you believe someone is harassing you, you don't then go and invite them to a fucking birthday celebration.

Messages went back and forth between myself and this idiot, with me getting more and more pissed off at him trying to go and wreck a relationship for no reason whatsoever.
He also made a huge effort of trying to convince me that his girlfriend was Rob's type as in his words 'she is beautiful and likes listening to metal'.

Obviously despite never meeting Rob, he felt he was in a perfect position to try and convince me what makes the perfect type of women for my boyfriend.
After seeing photos of this girl, beautiful is as far away from the truth as possible.
In fact she reminds me of this:
Actually, scene wolf is too good for that skank.

He also didn't appreciate me telling him that if she was being harassed, then she would be a big girl and go and click that nice little unfriend button, rather than bitch and whine and get her 'big bad boyfriend' to go and harass me instead.

The worst part of all of this, was that he made me doubt my boyfriend first thing yesterday morning. By the afternoon, I realised that he is an overbearing paranoid aggressive bastard who is in dire need of therapy.

Rob sadly has to work with this stupid bitch, which really does annoy me.
I have no idea if she was the one who claimed she was being harassed, or if her boyfriend imagined it, but I want her as far away from him as possible.

All I know, is that her and her boyfriend deserve each other.

Cannot be bothered.

I have gotten to a stage where I really cannot be bothered with anything anymore.
Maintaining an online life seems too much effort these days, yet I feel the same about an offline life.
I still spend hours sitting idly on facebook as I have nothing better to do with my life and that is just so damn depressing, knowing there s nothing I feel worth wasting my time on instead.

Work has settled down I suppose, my store now has the original manager back running the place and it is completely different to what I have previously experienced there.

Last week I managed to get a pair of beaaaautiful shiny black patent Dr Martens in Cardiff (they actually have an official store there now) and have been alerted that there will be bright green ones being sold again in the summer. That made me rather happy.

I have spent this week with my family which was lovely. I haven't had a week off work since the beginning of September for my birthday, so it was well overdue.
The problem with going home is that I always hate leaving, it never does get any easier to leave my family behind while knowing that it is where I belong.

Hopefully one day soon I will be able to get out of this hell hole and back to Wales.

Argh.

I am still very much fed up of this year.
All the stress, headaches and generic hopelessness wasn't enough apparently, so a kidney infection and mass conflict gets thrown in as well.

In a rather awkward situation work wise at the moment as there have been arguments with someone I work with.
Someone who should be treating me as an equal, instead treats me like a 2 year old, always has something to criticise me about and generally making me feel like crap.
It is just getting worse as it goes on and there is NOTHING that can be done about it.

Wish I hadn't bothered transferring over here, it is just making me ill and doesn't seem to be worth it.
I was a fraction away from walking out of there for good yesterday morning as I just cannot take it anymore.

Sigh.

Well so far this year has not been the way I had hoped.

Have majorly screwed up one aspect of my life by not knowing when to keep my mouth shut, which will now make life very awkward/painful.
I really need to learn to think before I open my mouth, fricking idiot.

Through all my crappy eating I have managed to put on a fair bit of weight, jeans now digging in and cutting off circulation, dare I bend over at all in these.....

& I seem to have been in a rather bad mood due to the above, not that I am a normally nice person, but I am incredibly snappy now and stressed.

Woo.

Oh and to annoy me further, my outfit choice for today has been scuppered as my pretty new tights had a hole in the toe fresh out of the packaging, and the pattern stops just above my knee.
Not useful when I had planned to wear black high waisted shorts with them.


ARGHHHHHHHH.

2012 anyone?

Happy late new year and all that jazz.

I spent my new years lying on a sofa with my favourite pink blanket and watched get him to the greek with the boyfriend and his little brother.
Nice, effective, no effort required.

After hearing that a very loved member of the family was getting put down (no we were not supporting Dignitas or anything...) Poppy, a cat that has been around for 19 years and was me if I were a cat.

We were all devastated by her death :(

New years eve also marked the 5th anniversary of my Grandpa dying as well, so I tend to avoid trying to celebrate as it seems rather disrespectful.

New years night was a ridiculous amount of fun though. I met up with my most favourite person from my time working at Cabot Circus, we (and our blokes) went to a rather nice restaurant which is marketed as 'Pan Asian' AKA buffet with lots of different noms & a chocolate fountain at the very end.
Turns out, there is an awful lot of food I can consume in 2 hours!

That actually was a good start to my new years resolution (no, not posting more...that would just be a sick joke) as I am intending to make an effort to see her at least once a month to catch up & get rather drunk.

Despite the overindulging last night, I still managed to get up vaguely early and drag people shopping >:) so more clothes I don't need and have no room in the wardrobe for then!

If I can be bothered, I may be nice and take some photos tomorrow, but it is rather unlikely for me to post two days running!