Holiday shopping.

Friday night marked the end of my stay in Wales with my family, so of course what better way to cheer myself up than by going shopping with the bestie?

Well, aside from the billion shoppers that decided they HAD to go shopping as it is a bank holiday weekend.

Ignoring the ridiculous amount of shoppers, screaming kids and just plain idiots that decide they have to stand in front of doorways and right in the middle of the pavement so you can't get past them, it was a lovely day.

Managed to spent about £80 quid on various items, which for me is the sign of an AMAZING day shopping.

As we are going on holiday and don't want to look like 'heffers' we are attempting to go on a healthy living spree, which means every 5 minutes my dearest gets a text asking if XYZ is healthy. Poor thing!

Anyways, after embarking on a lovely lunch of paninis which literally took half an hour to cook, we decided to hit the shops.

First lovely buy was this sundress from Topshop. I had been debating if I really needed it for a few weeks now but of course I couldn't resist it in the end.
It comes in lots and lots of really pretty colours, but I quite liked the grey.
And the black.
And the blue.

(apologies for awful photo!)


Next was to Game to satisfy the boyfriend by buying him Red Dead Redemption.
Not quite sure if it worked as as soon as he played it, he started complaining about every single thing about the game, he does get pretty angry when he plays on the Xbox. :/

The most crucial part of the trip, was to get me bikinis for the holiday.
Style wise I'm really not fussy, but its just trying to find something to fit me which is the problem.
I ended up with these beauties from Dorothy Perkins as I have to buy separates.





In addition to the healthy eating, the boyfriend and I are going to try and start going running, which led me to buy a pair of joggers from Primark. Insert even more people fighting it out for their prized bargains. Ick.

Finishing off the purchases for the day, were jaffa cake & creme egg milkshakes which took at least half an hour to make, before the new girl making them knocked one of the milkshakes over and a flamingo vest from New Look at £6, being very stubborn and refuses to be photographed!

Lazy holiday.

Well I haven't bothered writing anything for a few days as I am currently back home in Wales for a week and a half of holiday.

Me being me, I expected the weather to be average and just packed jeans, thinking that shorts would be a pointless exercise.

Oh me of little faith, it has been absolutely scorching back in Wales, blue skies the lot. It's just nice to come home and relax and not really do very much for a few days.
Thursday saw my older sister's 24th birthday and next Thursday will see a smaller sister celebrating her 12th birthday. May is rather an expensive month as then the Sunday is my Nan's birthday.
All this and I was rather skint to start off with.

Anyway, all is well in my little bubble for a change, although having to go back to England on Friday will be rather sad :(

I survived!

Yesterday went really really well from what I can tell regarding photo shoot.
One of my Dads customers has an amazing garden, full on woods and bluebells etc which I already knew about.
I did almost die when we went and actually saw it all yesterday!!!
Sizewise it was easily 20 times bigger than I thought it was, but as it was on a slope I had only ever seen a small patch in comparison.
But basically it was like heaven, full of flowers and colour. (and luckily sun)

The drive down wasn't particularly positive looking as the sky looked grey and awful, but when we actually arrived in my home town it was just beautiful.

Spent maybe 3 hours shooting in this garden in perfect weather yet as soon as we finished and I checked my phone, there was a message from my Mum warning that it was meant to rain between 1-4. Just when we were shooting!!!!
Lesson here is never trust the weather forecasts!

So far have only seen one picture from the shoot, but should be some mega pictures coming out of it soon, providing my face doesn't look too weird in the rest of them. As it was soo sunny and I was looking into the light, well I looked a bit odd!

Have literally slept since about half 5 yesterday till 11am today with approx half hour of awake time in the middle as I wasn't a very well Zilla last night, but feeling better now.
Providing I ignore the fact I was meant to be packing for my week and a half back in Wales. EEP.
Meh. Maybe later!

Last night.

I did something I have never ever ever ever ever done before yesterday.
I had my first time behind the wheel of a car!
Now for most people that's probably a bit of a so what? but I was so proud of myself yesterday that I did it (and it is the start of getting somewhere on my list) and I didn't stall.

Major win!

Before my driving around a racetrack, myself & uber bestie had a wander around the city to buy props for a photography shoot tomorrow.
Now when I say buy props, I mean we ended up sitting in Starbucks, H&M and Topshop debating sun dresses in readiness for our holiday in July!

So instead, today we made up for our lack of productivity and actually went for prop shopping.

Today's debate was along the lines of which colour netting/fabrics we needed for tomorrow and for what corsages for hair we needed.
We managed it, even though in the process I got abused by a suicidal apple and we got told off by some ratty bloke for wasting an apple.

Tomorrow shall definitely be interesting anyway, but if I don't blog about it, it will be because the location didn't work out as well as planned and I have been buried in the woods! Fun times :D

Best of all, I didn't let anyone steal my good mood today!

Priorities.

The ever brilliant Char told me that really just vaguely touching on my problems is going to get me nowhere, and that I need a proper list I can look at. Kind of properly facing up to everything in a way.

So basically these are the things that need to change/happen.

Firstly I need to get working full time. Maybe for the same company as I am now, most likely not though as they only hire part time generally.
But working 20 hours a week just isn't working for me, it is fine if you are a parent or in college/uni but for every day you can't live off that wage.
I need to get myself somewhere that isn't going to stress me out so much and somewhere where I can progress into a supervisor position in the next 6-12 months.
Sounds silly and a bit naive saying I want a less stressful job and to be a supervisor, but the stress currently isnt proportionate to the role I am currently in if that makes any sense at all.

Secondly, but only really achievable after managing the first one is for myself & boyfriend to move out of his parents house and get our own little place somewhere.
Location wise may be an issue again as I work in the city centre, and he works in the complete opposite direction.
He is learning to drive though so I am sure I could persuade him into moving into the city.
Between the two of us, really couldn't afford to have our own place until I am bringing in the same sort of amount of money as him!

Next on the list is getting myself in gear and learning to drive.
I will be 21 in September and everyone else has been driving for absolutely ages so I need to get moving!
If I could drive, it would also mean I could be more flexible with where and when I can work as at the moment I am restricted by our lousy excuse of a bus service.
Could also get back home and see my family in Wales easier and more often than gritting my teeth and relying on an equally useless coach service to get home!

Pretty sure there was something else, but I am having a complete mind blank at the moment. I so badly want all these things to happen so I can be happy but it never does fit into place as well as you hope.

Life in general...

At the moment I seem to be a bit lost in myself.
Lost whatever sense of direction I wanted to be moving in, all goals and ambitions.
I have none of that.
Bit disconcerting that I am as miserable and depressed as ever (woo!) and that I can't get any enthusiasm other than for going back to Wales.

A very wise friend told me the other night that basically I am in control of my change, if I don't get motivated and decide what I am going to do, then I have no-one else to blame but myself. It is all down to me to get what I want out of life.

I have been trying to live up to that, but with a million and one things in my head it seems really tough. All I ever really want to do is cry or sleep :/

I really do need to sort myself out mind, a new start in every way possible, but it's bloody hard trying to make that first step again to improve my life, especially seeing as it was only last month I applied for jobs, had an interview and consequently failed as usual.
That just shoved me straight back into my little miserable existence.

But now all that is written down, basically I have a record of my little rant.
A year down the line I AM going to look at this and laugh at how sad I was here, and if I don't well to be fair I possibly don't deserve to be living.


Also major fail on my part, but thank you for my comments Laura, I have no idea how I am meant to know if there is any comments, was only a stroke of luck I noticed today!
So if anyone offers some help with my blog inadequacy and can help me work out something so I know, that would be lovely!


As an afterthought, my mood isn't bettered by some changes which are happening in my working life which just makes my travel arrangements more frustrating and complicated.
Feel like I am wasting more of my time as well.

But this shall all be part of the process I suppose to make my life happier.

Weekend!

Friday was meant to be a great day for me, start of the weekend, start of my journey home to see my family for a few days.
It was also a sad day for me, as one of the girls I worked with had her final day.
The cookie I ordered went down a treat although I discovered when we gave her the cookie that she was currently on a diet. *Facepalm*
She did love it mind and it was going to be her exception to the diet.
Tomorrow she starts her new career & I am going to miss her a stupid amount!

I had a lovely time back home & definitely do not want to go back to work tomorrow as I should be still in Wales with my family.
Always so hard leaving everyone, especially as my Dad is rather in a bad place right now & is feeling very lonely and depressed.

That is probably the hardest thing for me.
Once my parents got divorced when I was 9, I decided to go and live with my Dad whereas my sisters stayed with my Mum.
Obviously my Dad and I have always been very close and I feel I should still be there living with him, instead of miserable in Bristol.

I am looking back into the option of moving back home again.
I don't feel that this is the right place for me but then again the reason I moved up here originally was for a job. If I go, then what would happen to the boyfriend and I?
He would have to stay here with his work and I would be home.


I just wish I could fix everything.

Hopefully due another trip back home next saturday as the lovely Char may be using some woodland belonging to one of my Dads customers for a photoshoot.
Fingers crossed!

Voting day.

I woke up this morning, stared into the wardrobe for a good 20 minutes and had a go at the boyfriend as I had nothing to wear to work.

This was down to my recent splurge on summer clothes, when outside was grey and debating whether it wanted to rain or not.
Cue much abusive at weather.

So after deciding on my basic staple outfit (cami, boyfriend jersey blazer in black, super skinnies in black, worker/army/stompy boots) I heard the car engine outside.

It turns out, I could have gone and voted before going to work today, but due to the clothing situation I had missed my chance, great.
So instead I wandered off to work and decided later I would go to the polling station.

Work was a rather average day, left with a slight headache and had spur of the moment decision that we needed to get a giant Millie's Cookie for one of the girls that was leaving tomorrow for a job in the legal sector. Convinced a few people that they would love to give me a small donation towards said cookie.

£12 for a giant cookie?!

Anyway, my good deed of the century done (not even joking about that) I wandered down to HMV for some spendings.
Zane Lowe has been going on and on about the new Deftones album on twitter, so I treated myself to it.
Erm.
I think he was definitely over exaggerating about it being their best record ever, but a few listens may change my opinion.

ANYWAY.

I arrived back in my town to discover dearest boyfriend had eaten the pizza in the fridge.

MY PIZZA I hasten to add.
He then ruined my day even more by voting LibDem.
I got completely confused as to what I was even doing in the polling station, made a fool out of myself and then couldn't find the ballot box.
I don't think they should give me the choice to vote next time.



I think I need to reconsider my current relationship arrangement and possibly either run away with bestie, or turn into a nun.
Or possibly just tell my ultra conservative family about boyfriend's travesty- I wouldn't have to worry about him after that!

Are maxi dresses practical?

Today I decided to give in and wear one of my new Maxi dresses to work.
By wearing to work, I actually meant walk in looking like a tramp in joggers and then having a transformation before my start at 9am.
All of this went well until about 11am when I first almost went flying as the hem stitching decided to catch in my sandals.
I shrugged it aside as a one off and carried on with what I was doing.
Over the space of the next 2 hours of my shift I got tangled up in my dress at least 20 times, each time causing me to try and detangle the thread from my footwear.
After I finished I gave in and bought another 2 pairs of sandals (without any embellishment, but couldn't decide on black or brown) to wear with this dress in future.

Still I thought everything was fine until I got home.

Around my waist/hips where my belt had been sitting all the material has bobbled up quite badly (blaming the primark belt for that) and around ankle and above area I have lots and lots of snags in the material which looks awful, luckily it isn't visible unless you look really close up. Black does have its uses.

This was the cheaper of the two dresses- but after being worn once for 5 or 6 hours, it is pretty impressive how much the sandals have messed it up.

Trying to work in a maxi dress it turns out is not very practical for me, but at least I had lots of compliments on my outfit!

But in a nutshell I love the outfit. Just bad luck on my part! <3
May have to buy another one and be careful what sandals I wear with it.

Accessories for the day.

EVIL EVIL EMBELISHMENT! (but they do look lovely with everything)

The whole picture. (Excuse the mess, I couldn't be bothered to use my own mirror so I stole someone elses!)

Recent buys!

I was hoping yesterday to have arrived home with a few nice buys, but it turns out the only things I bought in Bristol were a Starbucks and a Burger King.
So I will have to make do with some of my purchases from during the week!

Firstly my maxi dress:
This is the one which New Look has been advertising a lot in bus shelters and in the windows of their stores. Obviously looks a lot better when you have accessorised it with a belt and jewellery and looks a lot better on than in the photo!
It is £15 and it also comes in a few other colours, purple, a khaki colour, coral and some stripey variations.


I also own a really bright colourful one which was from a concession New Look stock called Paprika and was £32. As I can't find a photo online I will have to wait until I have tidied up before taking a photo as you have to see it on to appreciate it. (or at least that's what I think)

The jewellery:
Also from New Look are my shiny things, there is also currently an offer on in stores (not sure about online) which gives you buy one get one free :) and if you are a student you would also get 20% off for the time being. (Lucky!)




It's most likely I will have more new clothes within the next maybe 3 days? I actually am horrendous for buying stuff!
Although I do really need a chunky belt to wear with the maxi...

Holiday!

After several weeks of constantly searching for the perfect place to go, we finally have a winner.
We yo-yo'd between Greece & Portugal for 99% of it, before deciding on risking Majorca two nights ago.
As of this morning we actually now have somewhere booked!
I have a bit of a hate-hate relationship with Majorca after an awful holiday there maybe 7 or 8 years ago in a 4* hotel all inclusive.
Within a day of arriving there we all became ill (later finding out the cause was the swimming pool as it contained bacteria from a dead animal which must have come to its demise in said pool) and the hotel was filthy. Cockroaches in the restaurant along with stone cold food, exposed wiring as they remodeled. It was literally hell!
I remember the trip back to the plane we had to stop every few metres to throw up in the plants at the airport!

But anyway, we have high hopes for this holiday, especially after all of the stress the group of us going have had for the last year or so!

Also a good excuse to add to my new collection of maxi dresses which I am now infatuated with!