Wednesday 23 March 2011

Enough is enough.

After another very testing day in work (I lost again) I got home and cried.
and cried.
and cried.

I realise that it is about time I accepted that I am not normal and I haven't been for some time.
I seem to be constantly worrying and stressing out about everything, want to sleep as much as possible and given half a chance will spend an entire day in bed napping after an entire nights sleep.
I have no tolerance for people, I seem to get snappy & nasty for no reason.
Headaches most likely from stress
Very forgetful, I actually had to write a list of everything so I didn't forget anything, I will leave work and spend all night panicking because I can't remember if I have locked the shop, activated alarms etc.
Nice little negative thoughts, some days I do feel it would be so much easier if I didn't wake up.
Everything seems like a massive battle and I can't deal with it.
I will scratch at my arms to try and make myself calm down because I am so quick to anger, yet hate conflict so will do anything to try and avoid arguments in work.

Along with all that, I feel everyone is against me, I get nice eye twitching randomly and hate being along, very clingy and very easy to tears.

Basically I am a bit screwed, there will be more random stuff than this, but I won't remember it till later on. Fed up of feeling down and like crap all the time.

I don't know if work seems worse because of all this, or if its work that has exacerbated it, but currently thinking the latter. For the last month or so I have been dying to just walk out of there and not go back, its certain people that make me feel a hundred times worse.

I have never been an overly happy person, but it isn't healthy feeling like this.

I just need some help.

Sunday 20 March 2011

Flamingo love

I saw this on the Daily Mail website a few days ago, and I felt so sorry for the poor thing!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1367595/Its-easy-stand-leg-Clumsy-flamingo-takes-undignified-tumble-wades-pool.html

Not a long article, theres a few pictures.

STAY STRONG MY FLAMINGO FRIEND!

Work work work work work & a week off.

Feeling rather refreshed by my week off spent back in Wales.
Was really strange being in the house without my Dad, as he is currently in Australia (and hopefully stealing me a Koala!) but he is having an amazing time out there.
He is currently spending a month going around visiting pretty much everywhere out there but is sadly spending his 50th out there.
I am sure he is loving the idea of a sunny birthday, but I found it a little disappointing that I couldn't be there to harass him for being old and the like.

I still had a lovely time with the boyfriend & visiting my sister & Brother in law, Grandparents, little Welsh Nanny & the hospital known as my Mum's house (they were all suffering from one bug or another while we were down!)
While I was home, my Grandpa's older brother was taken ill, which meant my time with Grandpa was cut a little shorter than expected, but at least I saw him!

My week off also saw me reunited with two of my most favourite people ever, Hayley who I used to work with back in the day & Cassie who I have known since my drunk rampaging days who also does a beautiful job cutting hair.
While off out in Cardiff with Hayley, we managed to visit the cupcake shop which had some crazy bitch smashing the place up and attacking people over a lack of a certain cupcake a few weeks ago and I managed to buy lime green Dr Martens which were accessorized with purple laces! So ridiculous, but me in a nutshell!

A day after buying my DM's, I discovered my big little sister who is in Comprehensive school had made jewellery to sell for red nose day. One of the pieces she hadn't sold was this bright green & purple chunky bracelet which is a perfect match for my boots!
Needless to say, I had to have it. Will take a photo of both bracelet and boots when I can be bothered!

Work has been the usual, ups and downs for me, staff having issues with me and claiming I am bitchy along with everything else.
Pot calling the kettle black a bit, but I suppose that is the downside of working with all girls I suppose!
After leaving work last friday before going off for the week, I left the shop not wanting to ever step foot in there again, but over the week I realised that if anyone has a problem, then they can deal with it, I really do not care anymore.

If a new position comes up anywhere, then I will probably go for it, but for now I need to just keep my head down and ignore everyone to try and get through it.

Not much else has happened in my little world, if it had then I think my head may have exploded.